It Finally happened
by Senor Blues
Summary: Gantu finally snapped. Now Lilo, Stitch, and the gang are outlaws, they do what they can to survive until they meet a new friend and start forming plans. Be warned, much spoofage fighting etc to come.
1. Prelude

**Prelude**

Stitch had been described as many things when he had first met that little girl named Lilo ten years ago. Smelly, weird, disconfigured, but never as he was now called, killer. And to top that off he was now legendary. He and Lilo had lived a happy life until Gantu snapped. He employed mercenaries from Turgo and invaded earth, it was completely over run. Now humanity was enslaved by this evil stupid-head and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Almost nothing. Nani had been taken when Gantu's armies first attacked Hawaii. After that Lilo fell into a deep depression and the only thing tying her to this world was her best friends Stitch, Pleakley, and Jumba. They had gone underground and found refuge in a place where no one would ever look. After seven years in hiding with Lilo & Stitch looting what they could to survive, food, water, and weaponry, they were strengthened by the arrival of another, a refugee from Japan, Hataki. This young man, 22 at the time, became a big brother figure to Lilo very quickly. During their time in hiding Hataki began helping everyone, even Stitch and Pleakley learn how to use the ancient weapons, such as _bo, manriki-geri _(chain whip), etc, that were all that were left after Gantu became leader of the world. Everyone changed in that period.

Jumba changed his name to Alexei to better hide himself in the crowd of Kweltikwanian slaves that had been shipped in. He started learning how to use a large _no-dachi _(a 5-6 ft long curved sword) and became quite good at it. After about a year he was wielding it with such expertise one would thing he had been born with it. He also lost a lot of fat and soon had forearms that made even Stitch grin.

Pleakley soon became interested in the stories of the Chinese maiden Dio Chan and started to dress himself in his female disguises again, still insisting that it was for camouflage. He started wielding knives with a mastery never before seen. Hataki once compared him to an early ninja. Lilo had procured a pair of evil looking blades shaped like a kriss but these had a large blood groove and sinister designs, they were also short and slim enough to be easily concealable under a dress. Pleakley had also changed his name, to Lin Bei, but only in public. He still liked to be called Pleakley when in their little hideout.

Lilo And Stitch's were perhaps the least profound changes. Lilo had always been a rather morbid girl but now she and Stitch had become assassins, and damn good ones. Lilo, Stitch, and Jumba had broken into a genetic testing lab, when the pair had expressed the idea and desire to become the group's rogues, on Oahu and had altered Stitch from blue to black. This was the only change that time could allow because a couple of guards heard the sound of the machinery and went to investigate. The guards jumped on Lilo and were holding her hostage when Stitch emerged from the chamber. With a growl and a cry of "_Meega Nala Kweesta"_ Stitch jumped at the free guard faster that the eye could see. He post jumped off the guards face and crashed fist first into the other guards temple, KO'ing him. Stitch quickly cracked the first guard in the head with a chair and tossed Jumba his equipment belt then, when he was sure Lilo was okay, he held the hostage takers nose until he woke up. The ass whooping lasted for ten minutes during which time Lilo couldn't help but stare at the ferocity that Stitch exhibited to protect her. She didn't even blink when the guards severed arms and legs hit the wall and they walked out hand in hand, after Stitch had cleaned them on the hanging screaming body of the guard that had dared to threaten the life of his dearest friend.

All was finally starting to look like it might have had a chance to gain a better footing when there was a nasty surprise. They were discovered.

Alright people. You may be familiar with my other stories, but this is the most morbid and gruesome I intend to write. I don't know whether or not to make this one with a romantic angle mixed in and I would appreciate your opinions on this and also suggestions of the characters involved. Also I had an idea in Spanish class in Spanish ,which was kinda weird, to make this into a gigantic spoof story while keeping with the dark morbid setting. Hints of the future? Hannibal "625" Lector, a cursed tiki ring, etc.

As usual R&R por favor (please),

Thanks, Danke Schön, Gracias, Domo Arigato, Gratzie, спасибо (Russian), Merci Beaucoup, and Mahalo.


	2. In which we find exactly what is on 625'...

Chapter 1

His cousin was one of the leaders of the upcoming resistance movement and he knew it. Being the prototype 626, he had the smarts to figure this out. He could remember his days of laziness sitting on the couch in Gantu's ship eating sandwiches. Those were good days…yes. After Gantu snapped however, life became a living hell. Gantu, in his lunacy, was sharper than ever. He had known 625's potential but had never been patient enough to enforce it. He had finally figured out something that 625 couldn't tolerate Pain…Intense pain. His torture had lasted 12 brutally painful months. Now 625 was intense. He had become Gantu's problem solver. He was the one who found the stray experiments before the "abomination" and his little friend could. Now he was on another "case". Someone had been killing off Gantu's top men and taking precious equipment. He could remember clearly the day Gantu came to him.

Gantu walked into 625's personal chambers. It was dark. He searched for a light switch but couldn't find one. "Hello Gantu" a sly voice said from the darkness. Gantu started. 'How could he know? Guards come through here regularly." He cleared his throat. "Can we have some light?" He was starting to get annoyed. "No" came the reply. Gantu slammed his fist into the wall. "And why the hell not!" "I'm having a friend for dinner." Came the short calm reply. There was a crunch and a bright flash of light. Gantu finally got it. As insane as he now was, Gantu had to admit that 625 was starting to freak him out. He reached into his pocket and retrieved a data-pad. He scrolled down to #025's bio and crossed it off muttering to himself. "Anyway, lets get on with it." Gantu growled. "I need to know who's killing my men." "First principles, Stupid-head. Read Marcus Aurelius. Of each particular thing ask: what is it in itself? What is its nature? What does he do, this man you seek?" Gantu ignored the stupid-head crack and replied, somewhat more calmly then before, "He kills my men." "No!" snapped 625, "That is incidental. What is the first and principal thing he does, what need does he serve by killing?" "Anger, resentment, sexual frustration…" "No, he covets. That's his nature. And how do we begin to covet, Gantu? Do we seek out things to covet? Make an effort to answer." "No. We just..." "No. Precisely." 625 interrupted. "We begin by coveting what we see every day. Don't you feel eyes moving over your body, Gantu? And don't your eyes move over the things you want?" Gantu shivered and yelled I want this man on my desk in four separate cages by next week. And… try to finish up quietly." With that Gantu stormed out of 625's room. "Oh Gantu?" 625 called. "I have a joke for you my friend. Two cannibals are sitting around a table and one says 'God I hate my mother in law'. The other one says 'well try the potatoes."

Of course he already knew who it was, it was those two miscreants that had tried to break into the old ship some three years ago. Bonnie and Clyde, yes that was it. He took another bite out of his sandwich and Kiani screamed. Now then to catch those two, Gantu had said a week and today was day five. He knew he had a bit of searching to do, only a bit. And maybe, hopefully, he could find that accursed cousin of his and his _ohana_. Yes, that would be a nice surprise. He checked his cabinet and took out his two favorite side dishes to present the little girl with. A nice Chianti and some fava beans.

This one was kinda fun to write. Sry to all of you who expected this to be funnier than it was but you try to make Silence of the Lambs funny, even in this setting. More spoofage to come and as always keep those responses coming with suggestions, still have no requests on pairings.

Thanks, Danke Schön, Gracias, Domo Arigato, Gratzie, спасибо (Russian), Merci Beaucoup, and Mahalo.


	3. In which Lilo gets pain Handed to her

Chapter 2

About a month after Stitch's change, the team got some good news. Nani was alive! She was being held in a tech lab in O'ahu. A big grin formed on Lilo & Stitch's face at the exact same time, Lilo's because she was going to see her big sister again, and Stitch's because there were a lot of things to kill there. They started forming plans.

Jumba woke up the next morning to find Lilo, Stitch, and Hataki in the arms room suiting up. All were dressed in black and Stitch had his sunglasses on. "Where is little girl and comrades going?" "We found Nani!" Lilo said excitedly as she tossed Stitch a chainsaw. "Ahh good, where is older girl?" "In O'ahu" came Hataki's response from under a ski mask. "Be back for supper then, it's tubers today." Pleakley interjected from the next room. 'Ick' they all thought, except Stitch who thought, 'Ika Patooka' as he still didn't know much English. They finished arming themselves and started for the surface. "How are little girl and boy going to hide?" Jumba asked. "Damn, good point. We didn't think about it." Hataki admitted. "Ahhh very good stay here." Said Jumba running off.

Jumba returned later with Houdini. "Be careful with him. Is biggest stealth asset in existence." "Sure thing," said Lilo. Houdini blinked four times and all four of them were invisible. "Aloha" called Stitch as they walked out the hatch. Jumba waved and went to the back to check his stock.

The team made the trek quietly past Gantu's new martial law security force. They had to hold Stitch back because he came very close to accidentally ripping apart one of Gantu's secret police. (Though how secret could they be, they were all lizards.) They got to the boat house without incident however. They waited until no one was looking, chose a boat, and, after stitch hotwired it, they took off. They took the chance to become visible and they all relaxed for the long drive. They were in a civilian craft and Gantu's U-Boats had no quarrel with them. None but one that was silently tracking them from the inky depths.

When they arrived in O'ahu they went invisible again and went to locate the Tech facility. They saw it in a clearing in the crater of the volcano. As they approached they heard a gun shot and saw a scientist fall from the roof and land with a sickening _splat_. Houdini blinked four times in shock and bolted. The group turned to each other. As luck would have it they were all visible, but Blinkey wasn't. That meant someone else was invisible. They all frowned. Stitch read Lilo's mind and blinked into his thermal vision. He scanned the vicinity and spotted Houdini, but unfortunately someone else did too. As Stitch started to dash off, he heard a _crack, _then a _thud,_ then he saw a giant spray of something come from Houdini's face, and the experiment fell. Stitch stopped short. Lilo and Hataki hadn't seen or heard anything and they turned to him and Lilo asked "Any sign of him?" Stitch looked behind him and blinked out of his thermal vision saying "Uhh. Naga." Hataki quietly said a prayer for the fallen creature. Stitch noticed and turned to him just in time to hear the words, "…rata Niktu". He quickly turned back but didn't see Houdini or his corpse. He vowed to watch Hataki more closely.

They worked their way to the facility in shadow without further event. When they got there they faced the problem of getting in silently. Lilo & Stitch pulled out grappling hooks and rope. Stitch was about to toss a set to Hataki when he said, "I don't think I should go. I'm bigger and wouldn't be good at the stealth need to get through the initial layer. You two go in and find a way to get the reinforcements in." Lilo accepted this but again Stitch was wary. He couldn't help but feel something about this boy he had never felt before. He decided to put this on hold until they were safe again.

The pair tossed up their hooks and made sure they were secure. When they were climbing up, Stitch noticed that Hataki had walked off. He looked around and noticed him stalking a patrolling guard. He shrugged it off.

Unbeknownst to Stitch, after he turned, Hataki tapped the guard on the shoulder and motioned him up to the roof where he saw two figures just slipping over the crenellated wall. Then he watched as the ropes were wound up and disappeared over the wall. The guard thanked Hataki, shook his hand and moved off to talk into his headset.

When they got to the roof they immediately hid. When Stitch looked out he saw something that depressed him to no end. No one was there. He motioned for Lilo to follow him and he slipped over to the door on that floor. They went down the stairs to the top floor. It was set up like a cabin. There was a bedroom, a kitchen, and a study. All seemingly made of wood. Stitch walked into the study and looked around. No one there but he saw a book on the table. It was open, and he thought he recognized the writing, so he walked over. He looked at the page and saw that it was written in Turo, which he could write and speak. Lilo walked in. "Did you find anything Stitch?" she asked. "Ih! Book!" Stitch said excitedly. Lilo ran over and saw she couldn't read it. "Can you read it Stitch?" "Ih" came the excited reply. He started to read it and made it through something that sounded so creepy to Lilo that she told him to stop. Unfortunately the black furred alien stopped at the worst possible time. The last phrase he read was "Klatu Baratta Niktu".

There was a tremendous flash of lightning and Lilo was sure she heard wind howling, how she didn't know. All of a sudden a mounted squirrel on the wall jumped down and bit Lilo in the right hand. Stitch heard Lilo's scream and turned to see a desiccated squirrel clinging to her hand. He hurriedly backhanded the thing in the stomach and the body went sailing into the wall where it laid still. Stitch turned to Lilo to try to comfort her because she was still screaming. And he jumped when he saw that the squirrel's head was still hanging on. "_Meega Nala KWEESTA!" _came the battle yell as he pried the jaws open and broke the skull in half length-wise. He tossed the head away. When he turned back to examine her hand he saw that the bite mark was relatively small. After he turned back to the book, Lilo felt something tingling on her hand. She looked down to see that strands of ropy blackness were spreading through her hand. She tapped Stitch on the back. Her friend turned and saw a pale Lilo pointing to her hand that was now completely black and no longer looked like her hand. The words from the book quickly ran through his head and he cursed. He extended a claw and neatly lopped of the black thing. Lilo screamed louder than ever. Stitch ran to the bathroom and returned in seconds with bandages. He wrapped the stump of Lilo's hand expertly. He turned to the hand to dispose of it and the hand got up and ran off on two fingers. "Blitsnak" muttered Stitch, then realizing what he had said he violently smote himself in the head. He ran off to chase the hand totally forgetting about Lilo. He found the hand in the "living room". He looked around the wall and found a shotgun. He took up the shotgun and aimed at the hand. He fired! And missed. He hadn't counted on the recoil. The hand skittered into the hole and Stitch took two more pot shots at the hall. While he was reloading he saw the hand appear in a mouse hole. It flicked him off just as he finished reloading and he swore he heard something giggle. He fired again! And this time he hit! The hand now had a large hole in it. It fell. Stitch laid the shotgun over his shoulder, grabbed a few extra shells and went back to tend to Lilo.

That's the end of Chapter two. Can you guess what spoof this is? This one will continue into next chapter cause I'm not yet done. Please continue to respond and I will continue to write. Still waiting for suggestions for pairings. I can't start it until I know who you guys want.

Thanks, Danke Schön, Gracias, Domo Arigato, Gratzie, спасибо (Russian), Merci Beaucoup, and Mahalo.


	4. In Which Stitch Commits Major Plageurism

Chapter 3

When Stitch returned he found Lilo passed out on the couch. He dashed over to her and checked her pulse; she seemed fine, just in pain and missing her hand. Stitch had watched a lot of horror movies in his time and this was starting to seem semi-familiar. It took about a minute of figuring but he got it. Evil Dead (One of his favorites)! He was mad he hadn't recognized it earlier. The alien had an idea. He was going to pull an Ash. He went back to the main door, looked out the door and saw a normal building hallway. He looked around and saw a sign on the wall that said "STORAGE".

He quickly dashed in and scoped it out. When he ran back to get Lilo she was still KO'ed. He picked her up and carried her over to the Storage Room. When he got back he saw a black haired man putting a head in a vice. He set Lilo down walked over to the counter, jumped on, and walked over to the man, who had turned around. He tapped him on the shoulder, as he turned, Stitch belted him in the face with his two right arms. As the man fell the head started to laugh. Stitch looked at the head and raised an eyebrow. He picked up the vice, walked over to the "House" room and tossed it inside. He slammed the door and crushed the knob and the tumbler, ignoring the angry cursing from the other side.

He walked into the Storage room and got some tools, he was about to commit major plagiarism. In a flurry he began construction. When the smoke cleared, Lilo's stump was replaced with a chainsaw. Stitch clamped Lilo's nose till she woke up and motioned to the new appendage. "What happened Stitch?" Stitch did a pantomime of the happenings of the last ten minutes. "Holy Crap! How did you do that!" Stitch jumped, this was the first time he had heard Lilo swear. Stitch helped Lilo to her feet and walked her down to the staircase at the other side of the floor. "Hey Stitch where did you get the old fashioned shotgun?" Lilo asked as he opened the door.

After two flights of un-eventful sneaking, which was made significantly harder with Lilo's new addition, they came upon the prison floor. Stitch motioned Lilo to keep her hand on the chainsaw chord and he went sneaking in.

He entered and climbed silently to the ceiling so as to better see the entire floor. It looked like an office building, entirely filled with small cubicles, but all the cubicles had a thick slab of clear plastic over the openings. He looked around and located Nani. He didn't care at all about the other poor mothers who had gotten caught. He found her in the very center. That would mean some serious sneaking. He looked around the aisles for a guard patrol. He saw a few heavily armed lizards walking the aisles occasionally banging on the thick plastic. He waited till the patrols were away from Nani's cell and he ceiling walked over. When the next guard walked by, Stitch silently dove off the ceiling and plummeted silently into the guards bare head, claws first. When he landed on the "floor" Stitch opened his eyes, but he couldn't see a thing. On instinct he started ripping and tearing at what ever was blinding him. He saw light after the first slash. He rocketed through the opening and landed out of whatever it was and looked around. He saw the viciously shredded husk of a lizard and he chuckled. He walked over, picked up the corpse and flung it up on the top of the high cell where it wouldn't be seen. He looked around at Nani's cell and saw it was to thick for him to break silently. He wondered at the fact that Nani seemed to be sleeping and that he hadn't woken her up. He shrugged it off, though; she had always been a heavy sleeper, a curse to anyone with Lilo for a sister. He needed some sort of key. He listened and heard one of the guards laughing.

"Yea that one is gonna die NOW!" Following the voice he came upon two guard standing outside a cell. The scientist inside was making rude gestures without using his hands. One of the guards turned to the other and said, "What was the keyword?" The other sighed. "If I've told you once I've told you a billion times. _Klatu Berata Niktu, KLATU BARATA NIKTU, _now say it with me _Kla-_" "I know the damn words!" The other one yelled. He turned to the door and whispered something into the small panel on the wall. The door opened and the guards opened fire. They shot for 10 seconds before Stitch sighed and walked back to Nani. He leaned over to the panel and said "Klatu Berata N… Necktie…Necter..Nala Kweesta…Is "N" word…yea…definitely "N" word." He had an idea. "Klatu Berata N-cough cough sputter sputter. There said it." When nothing happened Stitch punched the panel and the door slid open. He walked over to Nani, but realized something strange. She wasn't breathing and her face looked odd. He reached up to prod her awake when she spasmed and leapt into the air (impressive, as she was in a prone position). "I will swallow your soul!" she screeched.

Well _esitos_ that is chapter 3. Sry for the wait. Writers block sucks. This spoof is still to lucrative to stop, unless you want it to. Im here to serve the reader. Nyway I have one response suggesting a Lilo/Stitch romance which is still possible, I need to know what the rest of you think. As usual please R&R with suggestions, compliments, death threats, compliments, questions, and compliments. Thanks, Danke Schön, Gracias, Domo Arigato, Gratzie, спасибо (Russian), Merci Beaucoup, and Mahalo.


	5. In which Lilo proves herself a desperate...

Chapter 4

"Dead by dawn! Dead by Dawn!" shrieked the disfigured, flying form of the elder Pelekai girl. Stitch jumped startled and distraught at the state of Lilo's sister. He did the first thing that came to his mind. He grabbed the girl's leg and pulled. The girl came crashing down into the desk and fell, unmoving, to the floor. Stitch, shivering, pulled out his walkie-talkie. "Mutant Dog to Black Kat…Mutant Dog to Black Kat…" He waited for what seemed like hours for the, "Black Ka…tant Dog… ack Kat to Mutant Do…Reception Bad…" "Coming back… Stay." Said the alien as he jumped back to the ceiling to make his way back to his friend.

When he got there he found Lilo examining the chainsaw. "Hey Stitch what's u… what's wrong?" Stitch motioned for her to jump on his back. When she was up, he streaked back to the cubicle occupied by Nani. When Lilo saw her lying there she almost let go of Stitch in shock and panic and almost fell the 30ft to the floor. Stitch silently dropped down, providing Lilo with a painless alternative of transportation other then freefalling.

When they landed Lilo jumped down and ran to the fallen form of her sister. She reached out to shake her awake. Just before she touched the older girls shoulder, Stitch grabbed her hand. He flashed the "one second" sign and said in a low whisper "Get gun." As Lilo was about to back out of the cubicle, there was a soft _thump_ followed by two _thuds_ behind her. She turned to see a rather short man dressed in all black. He looked vaguely ninja-ish. He had very long blond hair that looked like he had a mop on his head. He was wearing clear sunglasses tinted red. But probably what grabbed their attention the quickest were the bleeding and broken lumps of the fully armed lizard guards at his feet.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" Lilo demanded. "I am called Sancho. I was sent to retrieve that girl." "By who?" asked a now curious Lilo. "He was a big purple guy. Wait…why am I telling you? You seem to be in my way. Now I'm sorry but now you get to die." Quick as a flash he picked up one of the guns on one leg and with the other he hooked the second gun and flipped it into his hand he stood up and leveled the blaster cannons at the pair of friends. They both shot their hands above their heads, neither doubting that this man would pull the trigger. "Wait! This purple guy, he had four eyes right?" The man nodded. "I know him. He sent us too. His name is Alexei." The man lowered the guns. "I sense you are telling the truth. I would appreciate your names so that I may know what to call you." Lilo nodded. "I'm Lilo and this is Stitch." I saw you approaching with another man. He looked oriental." Yea Hataki." "Hataki! That does not bode well. Here look at this." He produced a data pad from a pouch on his belt. He hit a few buttons and handed the data pad to Lilo. She gasped. On the pad was a picture of a guard laughing and patting a Japanese man, Hataki, on the back. The man reached over and touched a button on the pad and another picture popped up, this one of a man in the same uniform as the last one, but behind the guard was seen a girl and her "dog" rushing off frame. "O god, that means that Hataki…is one of Gantu's men and he knows where our hideout is. We gotta kill him." It was at that moment that Nani chose to "re-awaken". She screamed, making everybody jump and turn to watch. Her body began to shift and warp. When it finally settled, she had turned into an E.T.-ish type of form but eminently more terrifying. Before Sancho could say anything, Lilo had dashed over to him and grabbed one of the guns he was holding loosely. She took aim and, ignoring Sancho's threats and pleadings she fired, her aim precise and the shot rang true. The bolt of condensed plasma slammed into and out of the deformed skull of Lilo's beloved sister. Her lifeless form crashed to the floor with a sickening _crunch_ and Lilo followed suit. Smattered with the blood of the number one thing that had kept her alive for all these years she welcomed the inviting darkness.

Kind of a borrowed ending from Dante's Inferno. I could not resist adding myself, Sancho, in. The description was written by a friend of mine. I have received numerous request prompting this. And about seventeen suggestions, the vast majority, have asked for a writer/lilo pairing. I am not a pervert so I had to change her age and the pre-story elapsed time to save my already low morals. Please keep R&R-ing with suggestions/death threats/criticisms/compliments/insults at the very idea that I am doing a Sancho/Lilo pairing.

Thanks, Danke Schön, Gracias, Domo Arigato, Gratzie, спасибо (Russian), Merci Beaucoup, and Mahalo.


	6. In Which Lilo Learns of Hells Experiment

Chapter 6

She knew she had blacked out, but what she didn't know was what she was seeing. Visions came to her of torture. Of death and pain intermixed with pleasure. A pillar was the central point of this dark place. As Lilo watched, the pillar started to rotate and five choice forms flashed and disappeared off the pillar. She began to notice dark figures stalking through the mists of her mind. And as they came into view she felt herself shudder in primal, unreasoning fear. As these things came out one by one, her ethereal form shuddered in spiritual protest.

A tall man stepped out of the mists, well she supposed he was a man. It was wearing a black outfit split up the middle at the stomach with three vertical gashes at each breast. As Lilo's vision reached the top of the thing, she felt her ethereal form shudder in abject horror. The skin on it's face was horribly scarred. It looked as though his face had been clawed by a large animal. The flesh was swept back and it looked like it had been grafted there completely covering it's eyes. Glinting steel hooks were attached to the thing's mouth spreading it's lips out and never allowing it's mouth to close. A sound filled the void of Lilo's mind as the thing's teeth chattered together ceaselessly. It stopped about two yards away and Lilo's was drawn to the form of another shadow.

There came a metallic jangling as this next monstrosity emerged. Another black suit, the same as the first one, but this one…this one scared her… In the section where the stomach flap of the suit was removed a ring was attached to this thing's belly. From that ring hung chains. Chains holding rusted and bloody surgical instruments, a bone saw, a meat hook, a cleaver, and things Lilo couldn't even identify… As her vision quickly left these implements of torture, she saw this things face. Even more horrible than the chattering thing's. It's face was stuck in a look of agony. Its jaw was wired open, to the extent of the chatterer's but with less restriction. There was a vice on the outline of it's face wrapping around it's forehead and back down the other side. From the front of that vice extended thin metal pieces forming a ring right in front of the pupils of the black rimmed bulging eyes. This…this surgeon thing stalked up right next to the chatterer and stopped as yet another figure made itself visible.

Next was a ghastly abomination of two brothers. They wore a black dress-like garment with a diamond cut out of the middle, with a large vertical scar within in. The curse of this beast was its/their head. On the left a wickedly grinning face with melted flesh holding up a bit of metal in the middle of the two heads. The flesh was mirrored on the opposite side as it un-melted into the face of the latter side's brother a look of pain and sorrow frozen on his face. These twins walked and took up its position leaving a gap between it and the surgeon.

A lithe figure appeared next. She would be beautiful if Leviathan hadn't gotten to her. As it was she was bald with a long pony tail coming from the top of her head. Her face was also beautiful, for the most part. It was long with a pointed chin. Her eyes were red and she had scars of her conversion on her cheeks. Lolling from her mouth and down to her generous chest, her tongue, giraffe-like and black. More scars were on her collar, both in sets of three gashes. She wore and S&M singlet witch extended down to high black boots. There was an oval cut out from the stomach portion revealing the hole carved into her stomach. Deep, open, and red. It walked up next to the twins and stood there lasciviously.

Finally the ring-leader of these horrible creations, The Lieutenant of Hell walked into the scene. His head was divided into a grid, longitudinal and latitudinal lines were cut into him and pins stuck into every intersection point in a sick mockery of the Chinese acupuncture. He had a dead look in his eyes like nothing he saw was important enough to warrant emotion. The black trench-coat like garment was slashed open at the breast and the skin underneath bleeding and creating a ribbon underneath the garment. He also had a small rectangle cut out of the garment at the stomach, but there appeared to be no wound there. A knife and a wicked sickle hung from chains at his waist and they both looked well used. He stalked up to a place in front of the others but a little ahead, distinguishing himself as the leader. In a deep baritone voice he spoke.

"Your sister before her imprisonment was a wicked girl. She was given men daily in reward for the work she put forth. None of them ever emerged. She had her way with them and took pleasure later from the careful dissection of her live victims. She learned much and still is learning much. She is now in hell being trained in the ways of pain and pleasure by our very own. One month ago the alien Gantu gave your sister the box. She opened it and we came… Now it is your turn."

Lilo gasped awake and immediately closed her eyes again. What she saw when she opened her eyes made Jimi Hendrix's worst trip look like a modern art masterpiece. She heard someone talking in her ear, but her mind didn't piece together what it was saying. She waited about a minute until she felt she could open her eyes. When she did, she was able to make out that she was on her back and still in her sister's cubicle. She was laying on something warm and soft and she felt that her head was higher up than the rest of her body. She turned her head and she was looking into the red be-spectacled face of Sancho. He was smiling.

"Morning…you scared the shit out of us. Are you ok?"

Lilo nodded and laid her head back down on Sancho's lap You perverts…not like that ;). Her head was aching, but fortunately her hand didn't hurt anymore. She collected herself and got up, wobbled a bit and straightened. She looked to find Stich but couldn't. "Where's stich?" she asked. Sancho was sifting through Nani's stuff looking for salvage so he just tossed his head backwards signaling that Stitch was in the hall. When Lilo turned to the door to walk out, her vision flashed and she saw the surgeon from her dream standing in the doorway, it flashed again and he was gone…

Lilo, shaking now, went to find Stitch.

Yet another one down. Sorry for the long wait people, I was working on other things (other stories/personal website/etc.) looking now for suggestions for more spoof subjects so if you have an idea you want to see mail me. And review anyway so I know what the ninjas out there reading my shit think. Peace and as usual Thanks, Danke Schön, Gracias, Domo Arigato, Gratzie, спасибо, Merci Beaucoup, and Mahalo. And much clown love.


	7. In which Stitch is no longer hungry

**Chapter 7**

Lilo walked out into the hallway and looked desperately in both directions for Stitch. She heard a grunting and growling coming from a room to her left. Keeping a hand on the chord of her chainsaw she silently crept over to the entrance. The door was set to the side of the opening with the hinges and lock, or what remained of them, discarded on the floor.

She flattened against the wall and listened for a second to the sound inside, something was growling and she thought she could here a whimpering as well. Just as Lilo was about to peek her head around, a large chunk of meat flew from the doorway and hit the opposite door with a disgusting _splat_, and slid bloodily to the floor. She looked across the hallway through the clear door and saw the inmate of that particular cell vomiting violently into the corner of his cell. This almost made Lilo vomit herself, that's the one thing that always sickened her. She finally stuck her head a around the corner and what she saw surprised and disgusted her to an extent never felt before. Stitch was eating.

What stitch was eating was not recognizable anymore, but Lilo guessed it was one of Gantu's captured scientists. There were chunks of the bloody mass scattered around the room and in Stitch's fur. As she watched, Stitch swiped up what looked like a femur and noisily crunched into his new treat. When he had swallowed the bone, he went to work on the innards. He ripped out the intestine, which were still connected, and slurped it all in like a strand of spaghetti. Next came the stomach. But as Stitch picked it up, one of his claws pierced it and it deflated like a soufflé. So he just popped it into his mouth and started chewing on it like a stick of double mint.

At this point Lilo could watch no more. She slowly staggered back to the room where Sancho was surveying the equipment he had found.

This is the last chance I had at school to upload something so I uploaded this unfinished chaper. Rest assured: when it is reposted again (a little redundancy for you), it will be a complete chapter so, adios muchachos! AND GOOD BY WEST G!


	8. In Which the Story Takes A Serious Turn

**Chapter 8**

Sancho laughed as he saw Lilo stagger into the cubicle.

"Ah, so he finally got caught. You've known him for what, 10 years? You never knew he was a carnivore?" Lilo just stared blankly, still shocked from watching Stitch feed for the first time. She was just about to initiate a harsh questioning as to just how Sancho knew how long the two friends had been together when the lights blacked out.

A horrible sound filled the air. Shrieks, the scraping of metal on metal, the sound of something wet hitting the floor, and then…silence. The emergency lights flickered on. Lilo and Sancho's heads darted around trying to see what had just happened, all they saw was that something big had made a deep gash down the wall, no easy feat when the walls were reinforced with 8 inches of solid steel. At a sound behind them the two teens spun to find stitch hunkered against a wall looking…scared? No, it couldn't be fear.

Silently, Sancho knelt and picked up a gun that looked like a .45 revolver and motioned the pair to follow him. Expertly he cleared the immediate vicinity and started down the hall. Many bodies were scattered about. Guards and scientists alike. They reached a cubicle that still appeared to be sealed. Sancho looked behind him and gave the others a look that said all to plainly, "don't move." When he got to the door, there was a scream and a body flew through the door. Following it came something that, was entirely impossible. It looked like a torso with it's appendages sawn off and blades, long blades for it was over 7 feet tall, attached instead. It's head was even weirder. It's eyes and mouth were sewn shut and the head was connected to the body only by a hideous metal contraption with nails and screw sticking out at odd angles.

Sancho was frozen in awe and fear. The creature stood to it's full height as it heard a scraping behind it. It turned and Sancho saw that a scientist, cut in half, was dragging itself towards them on the floor. The thing clanked over to the fatally injured man and jack kicked him in the head. Then, freeing it's leg, it bent backwards, the sound of joints breaking filled the hall, and skittered off like a spider into the darkness.

Sancho just stared for a moment trying to collect himself, then he turned to his companions. They weren't there. Had they been killed by one of those…things? Or had they run, and he had not heard them? He decided, in a move typical to his roots, to cut his losses and save himself. So he pressed on into the darkness. Along with the sounds of death, he now became aware a deep breathing somewhere close-by that he couldn't locate. He steeled himself and continued.

When he reached the end of the hall, he was dismayed to see a maglock on the door out. A BANG!!! And the door came flying out at him, he barely managed to dodge it. When he stood, he saw the thing behind the door staring at him. Without thinking he lifted his revolver and shot it. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!!! It finally fell. Sancho walked over to the corpse and jumped as it gave one last twitch of…life? Feeling a slight boost in confidence, Sancho smirked and, in a sudden fit of bravado chuckled. He shouldn't have chuckled. At that sound two more things jumped out of a cubicle behind him and charged. One dove at him with a sort of corkscrew dive the other just tried to chop his head in two. He dove out of the way of the first and, stony faced now, plugged the second one in the face and chest. It fell, but now he was out of bullets. Looking around he saw nothing that could help him, but by the time he had looked up the thing had scuttled away and the breathing had returned.

Looking into the cubicle occupied by the monsters, he saw that a scientist was slumped on his desk with a large blade sticking out of his head. Sancho frowned and, realizing he needed a weapon. He went to get the one that had just become available. He gripped the dull end, which was oddly slick, and pulled. With a _shick_, it came loose and the scientist screamed and started twitching, not quite dead yet. After a second the screams died and all was silent. He could swear he saw her standing in the vague light regarding him silently, then, in a flash, she was gone. He collected himself and looked around. A stack of papers had been knocked off the desk by the scientists death spasm and Sancho's eyes fell upon the page on top. It was a picture of the things that had tried to kill him with these words written below it;

Slayer I first witnessed these creatures jumping 

**Out of the ground itself. It was just behind**

**The building that Lord Gantu now uses as a**

**Jail. Their head are detached from their**

**Torso, held aloft by hideous contraptions.**

**Their limbs have been replaced by blades**

**Of the sharpest steel. To my eyes they appear**

**To be a manifestation of decapitation. Does**

**The sudden appearance of these creatures**

**And their location have anything to do with**

**The madness that seems to be pervading**

**The world?**


	9. In Which Memories Are Relived

**Chapter 9**

Sancho slipped the paper into a rear pocket and looked around again. A dingy cubicle covered in fresh blood, a file cabinet, and, what was in that green box? He walked over to the cabinet and opened it. Inside he found a small bottle of pills. _Uspirim_, it said, _to be taken for pain relief and anti-depression. Use in moderated quantities._ Thinking, in this new environment of death and destruction, it might be useful to have some medication, Sancho pocketed the pills. 'Now, on to the green box,' he thought. He opened it up and his eyes shone. Revolvers, identical to his own, piled ten deep. He smiled as he loaded up as much ammunition as he could and took another revolver along for good measure.

Sancho walked back to the broken open door, bolstered by the knowledge that he was at least properly equipped to deal with those slayer things. He walked for a few seconds in silence, except for that damn breathing just behind him, until he saw a "T" intersection ahead in the rows of cubicles. He was suddenly acutely aware of a gentle whimpering.

A voice cried out, "Please GOD! LET ME GO! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HER!!! PLEASE!!!" Just as Sancho was about to run and help him, a loud clattering sounded from the other side of the intersection and he stopped in his tracks, just watching. He saw a monstrous spider shaped beast with legs that looked like shotguns, they were shotguns he realized with a bite of shock. The thorax looked to be a bloated human corpse with a large chunk blown out of it's head and a death grip (heh heh) on a pair of Czech Vz. 61 sub-machine guns. With a final clack it stopped, reared up on two legs and unloaded barrage after barrage into the man with it's shotgun legs. With a horrific twitch, the corpse flexed it's arms and added it's Vz. 61's to the hail of lead. The barrage lasted a good ten fifteen seconds. Finally it lowered back down to it's arachnid form and turned, sensing Sancho's presence.

Sancho looked at the beast, and looked at his revolvers, looked back at the beast, shrugged, and let loose with the revolvers. It took the full sixteen rounds of the two revolvers to put the thing down before it got a shot off. Shaking slightly, Sancho strode around the corner, deftly jumping the corpse, and looked at the mass of bloody meat that was the beast's victim. It appeared that he was tied to a supporting pole connected to the high ceiling. 'Utterly helpless,' he thought grimly as he crossed himself. He pushed the thoughts of the man out of his head and strode past him to what looked like an elevator.

He walked up to it and pressed the button, patiently waiting. He was starting to get impatient when he heard the sound of the approaching elevator. It surfaced from below and the doors opened. Inside was a hideously deformed body wearing the shreds of a scientist's coat. The flesh of it's right side was pealed off and ribs were exposed. A large bony spike jutted from his raw right shoulder and an eye blinked at him from underneath the spike. The man had mousy brown hair and dead white eyes. Sancho blinked and said wryly, "I'll take the next one," as the doors closed and the elevator continued it's steady ascent. Sancho walked to the door next to the elevators and, seeing it was a staircase, proceeded, hurriedly, down.

He had not gotten past the first landing when he heard, "Sean. I'm disappointed in you." He turned startled and pointed his revolver's at the form behind him, but quickly his arms dropped as he saw who it was.

She was a beautiful woman. She stood a little taller then his 5'6" and her blue eyes shone with a ghostly light from under a mass of long brown hair. She was dressed in a casual outfit unbecoming the situation, Denim shorts and a black t-shirt. Instantly Sean knew who it was. It was the love of his life, Jaclyn. But she had been killed more then a year ago after he had pissed of Lord Gantu by taking out one of his patrols with an IED. But there she was. An immense pain filled his head as he gazed at her and he doubled over gripping his head in agony. Unknowingly, the rogue screamed.

A pair of brown eyes was watching this. She did not see the shade, she did not know why the young man who had just saved her from a couple of guards, was clutching his head. And she certainly didn't know why she rushed over to help him up and return his earlier favor by resting his head on her lap, as he appeared to be lost in another world.

He was back where they first met. He was watching himself sit on a bench in a park, uncaring about how conspicuous he was. He watched as he was joined by a woman, the woman. She leaned over to him and kissed him lightly on the cheek. They both quickly looked around to see if anyone was watching. They were safe. He watched as he leaned over and began to write in his notebook, a silly habit he could never bring himself to drop. He watched as he began to speak out of the corner of his mouth. Though he could not hear himself he knew what he was saying by heart. His vision flashed and he was back in first person, but he was lying face down on the floor of a building. Lying in something sticky. He pushed himself gingerly to his knees and felt his head. There wasn't a mark on him. He looked around, it was completely dark. With a loud _slam!_ a switch was thrown and the entire scene around him was illuminated by a stark white light. His vision flashed again and he was looking, horrified, at the mangled body of his love, his life, cut to the bone and fastened open to let her organs fall out onto the floor and onto Sean. His vision flashed again.

He was back in the stairwell. His head was throbbing but was resting on something softer then the metal he was expecting. He opened his eyes and saw the tanned face of Lilo looking back at him. He jumped and scrambled to his feet, scooping up his dropped revolves as he did. "Wh…Where did you come from?" He stuttered, still in shock. "Easy, easy." She said calmly. "It's ok. What happened?"

"Nothing…Nothing. Come on we gotta get out of here. Where's Stitch?"

"I don't know. I got rushed by this big huge beast with a huge mouth and I lost sight of him."

"Well come on, he gotta go find him. You have a weapon, I mean besides the chainsaw?" Lilo grinned as she picked up the Vz. 61 she had pried off of a large husk she had found in the cubicle halls. "That looks familiar." Sean quipped wryly as he turned and started down the stairs again.

I knew I would find a way to work Lilo back in. The cameo appearance of William Birkien, A.k.a "G", from resident evil 2 was an unwitting request I took from one of my reviewees. Anyway, still looking for suggestions of things to parody. I have no real plans for the next chapter(s) as I usually just say to myself, I feel like writing, and sit down and let it flow. Don't be surprised, there isn't any great thought involved just pure instinct. Anyway, as always read and review. Thanks.

P.S. Don't know what a Vz. 61 is? If you've played Goldeneye you do. Look it up.


	10. In Which Sancho Reaches A Personal Truth

**Chapter 10**

Lilo eyed Sancho curiously. He looked…different. Like he had seen something that disturbed him and seemed to shatter something deep within his soul. She didn't know how right she was.

Sean had seen the sight that that bastard 625 showed him upon his capture. The bloody mangled corpse of his lost love snapped the final sinew of sanity and he had almost destroyed 625 and the immediate vicinity with…with what exactly? He had felt a raging maelstrom of emotion surround him and he had blacked out. When he had come to, he was lying in an empty room. There was no sign of the fate of 625 and no indication as to what precisely happened. But he had risen to his feet, took one last look at the broken body in front of him and made for the nearest hideout.

He had seen 625 only once after that. In a vague dream he had been told to go to Oahu and scout a genetics testing lab, he had seen the girl and the alien sneak into the facility and had seen the ferocity of an enraged Stitch. Interested, he followed the group back to their hideout. For months he waited patiently for his chance to corner the girl. That opportunity came in the form of a stolen U-boat. The group had set off for O'ahu again. So Sean had crept onboard Gantu's private docks, quietly and efficiently subdued the guards and stolen a sub.

Upon arriving on the island, Sean followed and watched. He watched as the team blinked into visibility, he watched as the experiment was shot, and he watched when a face he knew, vanished suddenly before the shot. Using the grappling hook the experiment had had on him, he followed the two up to the top of the building, noting also that another man he recognized start talking to a guard and pointing at him. Could they see him? No, he was sure they couldn't.

All through the top floors he had followed the two friends. He almost broke his cover when the girl foolishly got her hand cut off. She was cute though, and he hated to see her in pain. He knew what this facility was. He knew the hell that it contained. And he knew that when the girl found her sister he had to break his cover. She would not have survived otherwise.

As it was Sean was having an internal battle with two different sides of himself. On the one hand his instinct for self-preservation dictated that he ditch the girl, or, if he felt like being merciful, killing her out right. On the other hand she reminded him very much of his sweet departed love. And he felt like he would go through hell to see that no harm came to this girl…this woman. It took him about five seconds to make his decision. On the landing between the 43rd and the 42nd floor, he stopped cold. Lilo, almost bumping into him asked hurridly what was wrong, bringing the Vz. 61 to bear. Sean turned slowly, and looking deeply into Lilo's eyes, he moved closer to her. Ignoring Lilo's puzzled stare he pushed the sub-machine gun aside and moved his lips to hers.

Stitch snarled.


End file.
